Albany, NY – Naive student Pilot, Kenny Chan, decided to poll members of a popular online Facebook community on Thursday to get a rough estimate on how many hours it takes most pilots to solo. As expected, the inquiry became an immediate pissing contest.

As seen above, the contest kicked off quickly when smug local braggart, Steveo not-so “Awesomesauce”, entered the scene to brag about soloing in a mere 4.7 hours. But, to his dismay, within seconds he was one-upped by an even smugger braggart with far nicer hair and a way cooler name, Armando Suave, who stated HE soloed in only 4.5 hrs.

“It stung,” Steveo told Aviation Daily News. “It’s like my penis went from massive to microscopic in a matter of seconds. I just logged off and moped around the house the rest of the day. I heard some guy later posted that he soloed in less than an hour. Good for him, I guess.”

Dozens of braggart pilots went back and forth for hours, each one-upping the man before him. Occasionally, a jealous higher numbered pilot would hop into the piss match to preach the dangers of soloing too early, but those men were quickly written off as insecure.

Kenny Chan never responded to his post and eventually deleted it, but, later that day, a suspiciously similarly named student pilot, Jenny Chan, posted the same question in a women-only Facebook pilot group. There, “Jenny” received a long series of genuine, helpful responses, tips and encouragement, and even had a few CFIs offer to take her on as a student if she ever needed to switch. It was weird and Aviation Daily wasn’t sure what to make of it, so we just clicked on their profiles to see who was hot.

For the record, we soled in -50 hours, which is about the same as the temperatures in most of North America right now.

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