Oil Futures Drop Into Negatives, Pilots Get Paid To Burn Gas As Spouses Demand Payback

LOS ANGELES, CA – U.S. oil futures fell to the lowest-ever price on Monday, at -$37.63 per barrel, as pilots were forced by their significant others to go flying and return money back into joint checking accounts.

Seaplane flight crew conducts preflight inspection

It’s only April 20th and the WTFs never seem to stop coming at us as owners of oil futures contracts were paying to offload them. Records were broken as the previous low of $10 a barrel set in 1986 was bettered. A pilot told us, while filling up his Cessna at a fuel pump at Van Nuys Airport, “It’s the weirdest thing, my wife told me it’s about time she got to enjoy aviation as much as me and to fly until I get enough gas money to buy her a new car. I guess I’ll be out here until June.”