World’s Greatest Poker Player Folds After Learning One of Opponents is a CFI

LAS VEGAS – Winner of six World Series of Poker bracelets – the only person ever in history to twice be named “Player of the Year”, and holder of two World Poker Tour championship titles, Daniel “Kid Poker” Negreanu, globally regarded as the greatest poker player in modern times, folded today when he learned that one of his opponents, Sam Richards, was a flight instructor at North Las Vegas Airport (KVGT).

“Nope,” he said, tossing down his cards and shaking his head.

We asked Negreanu why he refused to play Mr. Richards, who clearly stated that he had never even played poker before and only ended up at the table because he got lost trying to find the bathroom.

“Here’s the deal,” Negreanu said, “No one in the world can keep a poker face like I can while staring at a handful of cards and complying with the laws of gravity, but THAT guy? That guy can somehow stay stoic and unreadable while some acne faced kid literally tries to f**king kill him 5,000 feet above the earth’s surface in a metal f**king flying machine. NOPE. I’m out. I fold.”

According to the casino’s owner, Richards won every round and went home with more than a million dollars, which is insane. “He didn’t wear a hat or glasses or anything… and he just looked so bored the whole time. His expression didn’t even change when he learned how much he had won. I’ve been in Vegas over 30 years and can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like that.”