Chemtrail Pilots Announce Strike, Conspiracy Theorists Can Finally Breathe Easy (Literally)

Conspiracy Theorists will soon be able to breathe easier, literally, with a planned strike of Chemtrail pilots slated for later this week. After a series of horrifying medical incidents, pilots who spray poisonous chemicals during their cover ops as airline pilots are demanding a significant pay raise in order to continue quietly performing their duties.

In one incident, a pilot’s child was born with six legs and a third eye on the side of its head. Later that month, a second pilot noticed gills developing in the folds of his neck and stated that he was starting to have difficulty breathing regular air. He drowned a week later attempting to breathe underwater.

The final straw came earlier this month when three pilots awoke to the screams of their significant others. The skin of the pilots had turned bright green overnight and their bodies were radiating an orange glow.

Chemtrail pilot inspecting chemical tanks secretly stored on Delta flight 329 to Seattle
Military Chemtrail crew conducting mind control experiment from 30,000 ft

“We are willing to continue working with these health risks,” said one Chemtrail Pilot. “But we want appropriate compensation, especially given how high our medical bills are soaring.”

According to the Union, due to conflicts with the FDA, they are unable to pay what the pilots are demanding at this time.

“FDA regulations are causing the acquisition of these chemicals to cost far more than they should,” said a Union representative. “We are working hard with the President to get those regulations waved for our industry so that we can increase pilot pay. We understand their concerns, especially that one guy whose leg fell off while on a jog, but we are urging pilots not to strike and to continue spraying the masses while we get this matter resolved.”

Early model chemical selector in cockpit
Patch that is sewn into undergarments of Chemtrail Pilots to make their secret identification with each other easier.

The planned strike is set to begin later this month.


22 Replies to “Chemtrail Pilots Announce Strike, Conspiracy Theorists Can Finally Breathe Easy (Literally)

  1. I now this article is fake about the strike because I am one of these pilots and there is no strike happening. We do get compensated extra for spraying chem in one of two ways. Most of us are ex military that already have health issues from chem exposure from deployment. We can choose to collect va disability pay or collect more pay from the government as a contractor. While the contractor pay is significantly better, it stops when we won’t spray anymore. The va pays for life so many go this route. In no cases that I know of are the airlines actually involved. It’s the government with pilots that get hired by the airlines without the airlines knowing. It’s crazy how we sneak the different chems in to the airports. While I can’t give everything away just pay attention to how many pilots are walking through the terminal with a large coffee and never take a drink from it.

  2. A child was born to one of these pilots with 6 legs and a 3rd eye in the side of his head. Three others woke up one night neon green….but they just want a pay raise ?
    You guys are idiots

  3. Americans get what they deserve by their silence. keep trusting Q’s Plan even thought you know not what it is. We all go down as one enemy of the State.

  4. I’m long retired now, but I used to work on the chemtrails aircraft in the early days. It was damn dangerous though, standing in the hold with the cargo door open, shovelling out the piles of chem into the slipstream. We lost some good guys, just whisked out when the harness broke, praying the ex-army parachute would work. Sometimes it didn’t. And of course, if your mask slipped while shovelling, it was instant transformation into a zombie. Too many of my pals wound up Zombified, so brain damaged that they were only able to write letters to the Telegraph, Daily Mail or other right-wing rags (in green ink, of course).
    I still think of the old days sometimes, and the friends I lost. I’m reminded that at a certain Air Force base there is a wall of names, chiselled into black marble. No explanation, no citation, no badges of honour, just the names. Thank you for your service, Chem airmen, I salute you.
    Well, I have to go now as the nurse has been hammering on my locked door for some time. I think they’ve brought in the heavies as the door has started splintering. Looks like they’re getting thr

    1. The Cabal thanks you for your service. However you have just broken the NDA you signed so Men In Black will be coming to your house to have a little ‘chat’ with you shortly. You where told the consequences of breaking the NDA when you signed it.

  5. This is just stupid. Chemtrails are real and this article making fun of it is idiotic. It’s making all of you and your familys ill as well. I have a friend in the military who oversees this. Do some real research and real reporting. Does the Cabal pay to to write this crap?

      1. No we did not pay anyone to write this and we’re not happy about this strike. Have you any idea how much this delays the alien colonization plans! They’re not going to be happy and unhappy Alien overlords means more earthquakes and volcanic eruptions!

          1. You mean it USED to be flat. Thanks to the industrial revolution and resultant global warming, it’s been warped. Yes, the earth is now ROUND! Where was Al Gore when we need him?

    1. Carolee, what branch of the military is your friend in? What does he say his job is in regard to Chemtrails?

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