BREAKING NEWS – U.S. Airports Shut Down Due to Government Reopening

Washington D.C. – Air traffic controllers worked without pay for over a month to keep planes flying during the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. Now that the government has reopened and paychecks are once again flowing, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is reporting that major airports around the country are being shut down this morning.

According to reports, many of the controllers who celebrated last night called in sick this morning suffering from headaches, nausea and vomiting. Most were told to take some aspirin, drink a pot of coffee and come to work anyway.

This is a developing story and will be updated as new information becomes available.