Aviation Daily News has learned, to our horror, that the SOS Tent at AirVenture, the primary reason most pilots even attend the event, is replacing their bikini-clad bartenders with Civil Air Patrol Squadron Leaders.
Feeling sick to our stomachs and wondering if this might be the year we actually end up inviting our wives to Oshkosh, Aviation Daily immediately, after some duct taping on the wing, flew our staff 172 to Wisconsin in order to angrily confront bar owner, Sally Winters.
We banged on Winter’s door at 5 am to get answers.
Winters, a tall, leggy brunette wearing yoga pants and a v-cut tee that kind of shows just a hint of the start of some cleavage, greeted us at her front door.
“Why?!!?!!!!” we demanded.
Winters explained, in a tone similar to the one my mother always used when I wanted more sweets, that this has been something that they have been discussing for several years, saying that it just makes more sense due to the bar’s name.
“I mean, it’s the SOS tent, after all,” she said, sounding completely irrational. “And who responds to an SOS call?”
“Bikini-clad beer girls?” we responded, feeling hopeful.
“No,” Winters sighed. “The Civil Air Patrol.”
When asked if this was just some stupid #metoo inspired PR stunt, Winters responded, “My eyes are up here, asshole.”
Unfortunately she then closed the door in our faces, ending the interview.
Aviation Daily will keep you updated as new details emerge on this heartbreaking story. For now, expect what you see in photo above to look more like the photo below this summer.