In a move that surprised nobody, Spirit Airlines was officially declared an Airline for the legless community only.
“It was only a matter of time.” an anonymous Spirit employee stated. “By moving the seats 2 inches closer together, we could fit more people on the plane and overall since they are not full people, it adds less weight. So the flight costs far less to operate but we can sell more tickets. Its a big win for Spirit Airlines.”
For an added fee, Spirit will provide assistance helping people into the seats. For another added fee, Spirit will provide assistance getting luggage into the overhead bins. For an additional added fee, Spirit will offer a section called first class which is no different than the rest of the plane but gives passengers ability to say they “flew first class.”
This trend is expected to catch on with other airlines when they realize the profits they can earn once they find out how many bodies they can cram on a fucking plane by making them as uncomfortable as possible.